I am going to start off this article by saying this isn’t kitten play related as it can be applied to anyone’s relationships or friendships as distance affects anyone it isn’t limited.
I have recently left home to attend a university three hours away and as such I have had to deal with leaving my family, boyfriend and friends behind, now I know what you’re thinking, why choose a university so far from home if you didn’t want to leave anyone behind?
Good question, but put simply I chose this uni as it’s the best in the UK for Forensic Science. As much as I love everyone back home I know they will always support me, so ultimately I chose this university to give me the best opportunity to get the career I desire. Due to me being so far from home I can only see my partner and family once every two or sometimes three weeks so it can be hard to adjust from seeing them more or less every day to once or twice a month.
Now I’m not saying that moving away is entirely a bad thing, because in the two weeks I have been here I have met countless new people and made some really cool friends who I would’ve never met had I stayed behind. Not only that but I’ve had the opportunity to be a complete newbie to a new town so I’ve had many afternoon adventures around the town and finding some cool and interesting shops. So remember to not hold yourself back and to go out and enjoy yourself but if you feel more comfortable staying inside and binge watching your favourite Netflix series then that’s cool too as long as you are happy that’s all that matters.
But I have had some sad moments where I have found myself curled up in bed scrolling through photos on my phone and crying my eyes out till they’re red and sore, but this is expected and perfectly okay!! I have found ways to overcome these moments with some tips and tricks (some of which I have to thank Omo for suggesting to me as I would’ve never thought of them had I been left to my own doofus thoughts) and hopefully these ten tips can help you overcome the negative emotions that come with long distance relationships and/or friendships and remember it’s only temporary.
Tip 1: I’ll start off with the tip that Omo suggested as I had never previously heard about it before, but now I use it nightly to talk to my love on, and that is www.rabb.it This website allows you to audio and video call another person whilst simultaneously streaming movies, Netflix, YouTube etc. I have found this website to be extremely useful as it’s not only free but it allows me to still stick with mine and my boyfriend’s tradition of watching the latest episode of Rick and Morty together even though we aren’t together in person.
Tip 2: Don’t be afraid of sending photos, I used to rarely use snapchat but now I enjoy sending photos of my day to my partner and friends to just keep them in the loop of what I am doing. And vice versa I love receiving photos back from them because it’s interesting to see what they are getting up to and after all if these photos are going to a partner don’t be afraid of sending too many selfies as I can assure you they love to see your face as there’s not enough of you that would ever be too much.
Tip 3: Send letters home, this is a simple and inexpensive method of letting the receiving person/people know that you are still thinking about them even though they aren’t with you. I tend to include little items in with the letters like the persons favourite sweets or a polaroid photo I have printed out of us to add that extra cute touch.
Tip 4: Tell each other everything, whether it’s what you had for breakfast today or what outfit you wore to things like what programmes you’ve been watching lately or what your latest hobby is there’s nothing too little or too big or irrelevant to the point you can’t share the information with the receiving person. Because once again this gives the other person a feeling of being involved in your life still and not being forgotten.
Tip 5: And talking about being forgotten I try to tell my boyfriend and family that I miss them every day, this isn’t a sign of weakness it’s simply reminding them as they may need those three words as it’s a difficult situation for them too dealing with the distance. Plus, it’s always nice to know you are wanted.
Tip 6: Don’t play the power game, and by this I mean intentionally trying to guilt trip each other to determine who cares more and who is hurt more with the distance. This type of behaviour doesn’t gain anything and potentially risks breaking the relationship or friendship, after all if the other person didn’t care about you moving away they wouldn’t try so hard to communicate and be part of your life still.
Tip 7: Trust. This is the key factor to a successful long-distance relationship, hell it’s the factor to a normal relationship as it is necessary to have trust because without trust there’s jealousy, lies and it destroys even the nicest of people. If you have any doubts about your partner going out one night then simply say and talk them out beforehand so they can assure you that nothing bad will happen.
Tip 8: I personally enjoy sending and receiving good morning and goodnight messages from my partner, it’s nice to wake up to little messages to start the day feeling great and happy, likewise to be able to fall asleep knowing they are thinking of you. We have turned it into a little competition to see who gets up first to write the message, typically I am awake first so I send the lovey dovey messages but then my love always writes the goodnight messages.
Tip 9: When you do next see your partner/family/friends you don’t have to plan out the entire time you spend with them, just see what happens and do what you feel like doing in the moment. For example, my boyfriend was here with me for the weekend and we had absolutely no plans and then yesterday whilst in our PJ’s at 8:30pm we decided to go to the cinema to see the new Kingsman movie (surprisingly good actually). It was completely unplanned and that’s what made it fun, enjoy the time you have with the person even if that involves chilling on the sofa wrapped up in a blanket.
Tip 10: It’s not forever and it’s not impossible, it will be difficult along the way but if you have faith and believe in the relationship or friendship and truly want it then it will work regardless what anyone negative might say about it. Stay strong and know that you are loved no matter where in the world you are.
I really hope these tips and tricks can help, even if it only works for one person, because everyone deserves happiness as life is too short to be sad. Now I’m off to eat my Ritz and binge watch Sons of Anarchy in my comfy Slytherin blanket, I wish you all an amazing night.