Understandably it's a pretty common thing to look up to people.
As we grow up we may look up to our parents or siblings as an example, and then as we continue to grow maybe celebrities or artists, or generally just people that we wish to be more like and that we admire.
There are obviously many different reasons why we look up to certain people, maybe they make art, maybe they're fighting injustice, maybe they're doing something that you wish to do at some point. I feel for me I always looked up to people that I could relate to and more recently made me feel like 'hey, I could do that to.'
For example, I did competitive writing (I know, I'm cool) for two years after it was recommended to me by a teacher. I wrote based on experiences and I wrote about real life. I always liked writing about people that I felt didn't get much of a voice in the world. This was the first time I was introduced with the concept that I could inspire someone.
I remember on the first story I wrote the comments on it from the judge just talked about how amazing it was and that they hoped I continued writing, and my classmates that would hear my stories asked me how I did it or told me how they wished they could write like me.
What's still wild to me is I generally don't ever see my writing as that good, or anything I do really. I can be such a perfectionist to the point that I doubt just about everything I do. Which then leads to me just not doing things, which isn't good. Having people tell me otherwise really helped me though, so I started writing more and I started believing in myself. Which is good, but the bad thing is I was basing how good I was on other people. I believe everyone should take in criticism but I'm someone where if I sense doubt in others I sense doubt in myself, as far as things I create goes.
So next year when suddenly all anyone wanted were very light-hearted stories and I was giving deep short stories about homophobia I was pushed aside and suddenly I felt like I shouldn't be a writer anymore because I thought 'If they don't like it who will?' So I didn't really write for like, a year? Then my friend mentioned us doing writing prompts together and we did and that was how I got back into writing and then I learned that I only need really my own confidence in order to create something I love. If other people enjoy it, that's just a plus.
Before you do anything, I feel it is important to enjoy it and believe in it yourself. If you love it then you can make it through whatever comes your way and continue doing it.
Again, whether that be writing, photography, makeup, or literally anything. It's also good to understand people that do those things that you look up to, they are normal people and have had struggles too. Personally for writing I really enjoy John Green, Ellen Hopkins, Thomas Harris, and many others and I'm sure they've had their doubts too. People that inspire you are usually quite a bit like you whether you like to believe it or not. Usually it's the similarities that draw us to them, start the spark in our mind that our dreams are not that far from reach.
While I mentioned inspirations that involved maybe a skill or something you do, I feel it also to mention inspirations that make you more secure in yourself or that maybe just make you a happier person. For me, that person is Sasha Velour. If you follow me on instagram, yes, I am talking about Sasha again. If you don't know Sasha Velour she is a drag queen from New York as well as the winner of season 9 of Rupaul's Drag Race, but most importantly to me she is an absolutely amazing human being that spreads love and positivity. !!!
So, how does a bald drag queen lip syncing to a Kesha song become my biggest inspiration in life? Honestly, I can't really tell you exactly when or how it happened. I just remember people being suspected on being on this latest season of drag race before it was announced and I saw Sasha and immediately knew I had to learn more.
I then went on to find out Sasha is gender-fluid and a huge advocate for queer people and also is an amazing artist, Sasha does a magazine Velour:The Drag Magazine that's super amazing as well as designing almost all of her merchandise herself.
I don't think I realized how much Sasha meant to me till I was actually fortunate enough to meet her. I go all in about it on my instagram which is on profile, but to attempt to quickly summarize Sasha makes you feel so special and so important in her presence and also so accepted.
The day of the show Donald Trump had tweeted out about the ban of transgender people in the military, literally a couple hours before I got to meet them. Sasha immediately was responding to it and bringing light to it so I thought if I could say anything I would thank Sasha for talking about it.
Also I feel I should quickly mention at this time I wrote all of the lovely queens letters because I already have anxiety in social situations and I just did not know how I was going to cope in that situation, most complimented the queen on their looks and hoped for their continued success.
For Sasha it was me thanking her for helping me love myself and feel accepted and a bunch of other stuff that I fit into both sides of the card I got. So my sister went first and it was great I was shaking though because I was next and I had been staring at Sasha this whole time and I had my pile of cards in my hand.
It was my turn and the other girls were still signing some stuff so I went up to Trinity and complimented her and did small talk, eventually handing her the card I wrote while I was shaking so much I'm surprised I was able to hold them.
I went through every card, until I got to the last one which was for Sasha. I looked up and she was smiling at me and I handed it to her. I thanked her for talking about the ban, I think I called it just the ban because I honestly forgot my name in that moment (Alexis literally asked for my name I was so nervous.) Sasha hugged me after I thanked her and I said how nervous I was and Sasha smiled and comforted me and told me it was okay and that she liked me hair and we hugged again and I told her how much I loved her and how she meant so much to me and she told me so loved me too and called me sweetie and I was dead. Then we took the pictures and I thanked them all and went to my sister before realizing I had to get my poster that Sasha was going to sign.
Up to this point everyone had been signing the posters then giving them to the people helping to then take back to the person who just met the queens. But of course while I'm still hyperventilating I turn and see one of the guys that were helping point at me and then I see Sasha turn to me and smile as she began walking over to me. She handed me the picture and said "Thank you so much baby." -dead- I thanked her so much and we had a lil moment before she went back to the person who was next in line and waiting.
That moment was nearly a month ago yet I still smile when I think about hugging Sasha and the positivity from that day still surrounds me. Sasha performed Praying by Kesha which she had been but there's a line in the song where it's just
'I'm proud of who I am,' and something about seeing Sasha, someone that makes me proud to be who I am performing to that still hits me really hard as I'm writing this right now.
I don't know if I'll ever get to see Sasha again or if she read my letter, but if I did get to meet her again I would thank her for the first time I met her, and thank her for giving me something to distract me from any negativity happening at that time. I'll never be able to thank her enough for that, and if you ever get the opportunity to meet someone that makes you feel that way, do it.
Now that I've did a long sappy ramble, I have a question for anyone reading this. Who is someone, or a couple of people, who inspire or empower you and why? Whether it be a parent, sibling, friend, or drag queen, I'd love to hear who helps empower you to be the best you that you can be. I know this was a long one, but I hope it wasn't too bad.