For the most part when I'm doing my usual mindless scrolling through social media such as tumblr or instagram in particular, you tend to notice a majority of two different kinds of posts.
1. Someone that has a dom whether it be an owner or a caregiver, and them talking about them and how perfect everything is. Generally leaving you feeling left out.
2. Someone that does not have a dom and is referencing example 1 and how they wish they were that person.
I'm not bashing on either of these people, I think we've all for the most part either been person 1, 2, or both at one time or another.
When I first delve into the community I began to feel very jealous of these adorable relationships I was seeing all of the time, when in the past I have never been someone that ever felt as though I needed to be with someone. For some reason I began to feel as though to be valid, I needed to be with a dominate. This led to me encountering a lot of uncomfortable conversations via tumblr with people, particularly guys, who I now know as fake doms making me feel as though if I wanted to have the kind of relationship I was being exposed to, I needed to change myself, make myself desirable and sexy and overall things I didn't ever really want at least in this period of my life.
I've now discovered a lot of people I know have gone through this same path, and unlike me some have actually settled for these fake doms and were miserable. I think there's a serious problem with people settling, feeling as though they need to portray a certain little or pet.
I'm here to say, no you don't. Being a stray kitten is okay, being a little without a caregiver is okay, just as having a dom is okay as well. Neither is better than the other, and neither should be seen as the ideal or what you have to be or have. Being part of a community should not mean that you have to suddenly be with someone, or suddenly be with someone that is also part of the community. You are loved and accepted no matter where you fall in the community and no matter what, don't let anyone or anything make you feel as though you have to be something you're not to fit into the community. Plus, being single can be pretty fun honestly when you think about it.